my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
do herpes really smell.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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