dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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