yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
