Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
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