My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
