That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Randomize
