No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
