am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
