If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
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