Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
