I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
