One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Randomize
