I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Randomize
