grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
