I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
you never un-have a 4some
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
