you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
