just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
