I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
