so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
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