Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
