Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
