You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize