i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
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