If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Randomize
