the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
