i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
