Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Acid is not a monday night drug
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Randomize
