your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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