She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
