Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
