My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Randomize
