she woke up with a sticky ear
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
