I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Randomize
