Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I pour the whiskey from now on
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
