I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Randomize
