try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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