I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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