wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I just want nice things and good sex
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
