I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
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