Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
