i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Randomize