Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Randomize
