you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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