Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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