I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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