look no pants
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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