So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Randomize
