so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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