Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
