I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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