I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
