It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
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