Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
