is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
only you would photoshop your dick
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
