how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
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