We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
