Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
