Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize