Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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