butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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