Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
